As we age there comes a time when the roles will naturally begin to shift. The people who once cared for us from birth until the present – our parents- begin to need care in return. The inevitable season of life is HARD and full of decisions that can feel overwhelming. If you’re currently navigating this transition, you are not alone! The AARP stated in 2025 that 63 million people are offering some sort of care for a loved one. Many balancing careers, raising their own families and now taking on caregiving. My journey started when my mom was diagnosed with Early onset Alzheimer’s at 60 years old. The challenges we faced were at times unbearable and honestly our strong faith is what carried us through. This short guide is designed to help educate you on the journey ahead and give practical steps that I wish I had known when we traveled this road. 

Give yourself permission to feel

Caring for aging parents is not just about logistics—it’s deeply personal. It can stir up old family dynamics, unspoken expectations, and feelings of grief as you watch the people you love face decline. Physically and sometimes mentally. It’s important to name those feelings. You might feel:

• Guilt when you can’t do everything yourself.
• Stress from juggling caregiving with work and family.
• Frustration when your parents resist help.
• Gratitude for the chance to give back to them.

The first step in this journey is giving yourself permission to feel all of these things without judgment. Caregiving is both an act of love and an act of endurance. Sometimes it comes when we least expect it, but the truth is 100% of us will meet our maker someday. Being a few years since my mother’s death I would also say that therapy would have helped during this time. My big ah ha is not crying for a year after my mother’s death. This seemed like something that warrented some major attention, so I went to therapy and signed up for a half marathon. Fully aware I have a problem with going all in. 😉 All jokes aside, therapy is not a sign of weakness but something that can ease the unrest of being a human in 2025. Talking to someone without expectation and hopefully loving guidance can be critical for mental health.

*If you have siblings, start talking early about plans and documents that need to be completed. it isn’t a fun topic to cover, but I promise you will be happier once all of the necessary things are in order. Caregiving shouldn’t fall on one person’s shoulders. Even if not everyone can provide hands-on help, family members can contribute financially, emotionally, or by managing certain tasks.

Recognizing When It’s Time to Step In

This part for myself was extremely tough. I was still in my 30’s and by no means did I feel “grown up” or ready to make these decisions before I had my own children. Most parents won’t ask for help, even when they need it. I knew that even though it was very uncomfortable to step in, my mom needed it. It is up to loved ones to notice the signs and get the care needed. A conversation may need to be had if you notice several of these signs. Some common red flags include:

• Missed medications or confusion about prescriptions
• Bills piling up or utilities being shut off
• Changes in hygiene, appearance, or weight
• Memory issues, such as forgetting appointments or repeating questions
• Increased falls, difficulty walking, or unexplained bruises
• Social withdrawal or loss of interest in hobbies

*Frame the conversation around safety and independence. For example: “I know you value your independence, and I want to help you keep it as long as possible. Can we talk about a few ways to make that easier?”

Building a Care Plan

Once you recognize a need, creating a plan brings order to what can feel like chaos. A care plan doesn’t have to be complicated—it’s simply a roadmap that outlines what needs to be done and who is responsible. Below is a good framework to follow:

1. Assessment
   Start with a full picture of your parent’s needs. Look at health, mobility, finances, emotional well-being, and daily routines. Sometimes a doctor or social worker can help assess what level of care is appropriate.
2. Support Network
   Identify who can help—siblings, extended family, neighbors, church members, or professionals. Divide tasks so no one person is overwhelmed. There are companies that can help you with house, finances and more for aging adults.
3. Daily Routines
   Focus on healthy meals, medication schedules, consistent exercise, and social interaction. These basics provide structure and stability for both you and your parents.
4. Future Planning
   Think ahead. What happens if your parent’s needs increase? Explore housing options, home health aides, or assisted living facilities.

*Biggest tip I could give is to write everything down in one place—a binder or shared online document. This ensures everyone involved knows the plan and helps keep it all organized. Even though we used hospice the last few years my mom was with us, I still had to have all medical information, medications, hair appointments, podiatry (this is A THING) and more available for different reasons.

Navigating Healthcare and Finances

Two of the most intimidating aspects of caregiving are healthcare and money. Simplifying these areas can give both you and your parents peace of mind.

Healthcare Basics:

• Make sure all doctors are aware of one another. Consider using a patient portal or app to keep records organized.
• Attend appointments if possible, or have your parent sign a HIPAA release so doctors can share updates with you.
• Explore local home health services, which may be covered by insurance.
• Know that hospice care is a WONDERFUL resource. It does NOT mean your loved one will die right away, but does in fact have an illness/diagnosis with no cure. My mom was on hospice for over 4 years with Early Onset Alzheimer’s.

Financial Basics:

• Review whether Medicare, Medicaid, or long-term care insurance applies.
• If your parent does not have long term care insurance, look into it. My mom’s financial advisor recommend this and it was the only way she would have been able to have the level of care she did.
• Ensure important documents are in order: wills, power of attorney, healthcare proxies, and advance directives.
• Consider meeting with a financial advisor who specializes in elder care. Keep in mind that all of these documents need to be drawn up and signed when you loved one is “of sound mind.”

*Approach finances with respect. Say, “I want to make sure your wishes are honored and your money is protected. Can we sit down together to review everything?”

Respecting Independence and Dignity

One of the greatest fears older adults face is losing independence. That’s why involving your parents in decisions is so important. Even small choices—what meals to eat, what clothes to wear, or what outings to attend—help preserve dignity.

Practical ways to support independence:

• Make the home safer with grab bars, non-slip mats, and better lighting.
• Arrange for grocery or meal delivery rather than cooking everything yourself.
• Explore transportation services (like rideshare apps or senior shuttle programs) to keep them mobile.
• Encourage hobbies, clubs, or church groups to maintain social connections.

*Focus on what your parent can do instead of what they can’t. This mindset shift helps both of you stay positive.

Taking Care of Yourself as a Caregiver

It’s often said that you can’t pour from an empty cup—and caregiving proves that true. Many caregivers face burnout, depression, or health problems from the stress of always putting others first. It is hard in the moment when your time is being dominated by this season to remember yourself, but it is CRUCIAL.

Here’s how to protect yourself:

• Respite Care: Arrange for short-term care so you can take a break.
• Support Groups: Whether local or online, connecting with others who understand makes a big difference.
• Self-Care Habits: Exercise, journaling, and counseling are not luxuries—they are lifelines.
• Boundaries: It’s okay to say no. You can’t do everything, and trying to will only make you less effective.

*Make a list of things that restore your energy—reading, walking, and coffee with a friend. Schedule them like appointments.

Final Thoughts: One Step at a Time

Caring for aging parents is one of life’s greatest acts of love—and one of its greatest challenges. The journey requires patience, planning, and deep compassion, but you don’t have to navigate it alone. By taking small, consistent steps—whether that means organizing a care plan, seeking professional resources, or simply listening with empathy—you can honor your parents’ dignity while protecting your own well-being. Pretty please, with sugar on top don’t forget to take care of yourself. As Mary Oliver says, “this is your one wild and precious life.” Praying over the days ahead, my friend. 

“The Summer Day,” by Mary Oliver

Who made the world?
Who made the swan, and the black bear?
Who made the grasshopper?
This grasshopper, I mean —
the one who has flung herself out of the grass,
the one who is eating sugar out of my hand,
who is moving her jaws back and forth instead of up and down —
who is gazing around with her enormous and complicated eyes.
Now she lifts her pale forearms and thoroughly washes her face.
Now she snaps her wings open, and floats away.
I don’t know exactly what a prayer is.
I do know how to pay attention, how to fall down
into the grass, how to kneel down in the grass,
how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields,
which is what I have been doing all day.
Tell me, what else should I have done?
Doesn’t everything die at last, and too soon?
Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?

+ Mary Oliver